Whoops Apologies

Oh dear. I owe you all an apology: Webruary didn’t happen. I knew the target of posting daily was an ambitious one but I was psyched to try and I did achieve it on my other blog in 2017 so I thought I stood a good chance of accomplishing it again. Unfortunately I didn’t. A combination of personal issues and physical issues threw me off my path and once the momentum was gone I couldn’t bring my mind back on track. It sucks and I kinda suck too for letting myself fail but that is something I already know I need to work on: consistency.

I struggle with extreme fluctuations of mood and physical health. Even as I type now I am recovering from a bout of sciatica and lower back pain that rendered me unable to do much more for the last three days than potter about for a few minutes at a time before resting up. Prior to that I experienced one of my “down” weeks, consisting of mental fog, physical exhaustion, joint pains, headaches, gut pains, extreme temperature fluctuations, a depressed and anxious mood and insomnia. During those days it’s like being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach and head while suffering from ‘flu. Unsurprisingly it’s not easy to concentrate on writing, particularly when I haven’t slept for three nights. I can’t think coherently and I don’t perceive the world accurately when I lack sleep so anything I produce is likely to be hysterical and self-pitying. Prior to that there was the half term school holiday and my son was home. The week before that I was dealing with a few personal issues. In short I’ve been repeatedly distracted from writing for the past month and by the time each little episode was over I’d lost momentum and found it hard to get back on track. Stuff happens. Sometimes a lot of stuff happens all at once and February was one of those months.

Nevertheless, I let you down and I let myself down. If I want to do more than casual blogging then I’m going to need to find a way to overcome these obstacles and deliver consistently. Pain or no pain, fog or no fog, life doesn’t stop so neither can I.

So I’ll make a promise to you now, my dear friends. I will produce a blog post every week. Come what may, I’ll find a way. I may be dictating onto my phone while laid on my back. I may say “All is not well and I have nothing to say that I won’t regret later so bye for this week”. Perhaps I’ll produce an article so grey and lifeless that you’ll be tempted to give it CPR, but I will write and I will publish and you can join me in all that is my adventure, not just the funny bits or the articulate and thoughtful bits. After all, if I shut you out of my worst times, how can you appreciate the joy of the better times?

My back is starting to hurt again, I’ve been sitting for over an hour and it’s time to stretch out those aching muscles. My brain’s beginning to lose focus, the words are drying up, so I’ll bring this to a close. Until next time, keep on keeping on and enjoy the great adventure that is life. After all, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Much love.

– this article also appears, with some minor amendments, in my other blog: The Greatest Adventure